Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Off topic I guess but I saw this and thought it was really cool of this guy to do

When I lived in Colorado I was sexually assaulted. It was by someone I knew, someone who had a pregnant wife. He was also a supervisor of mine. For months I thought it was my fault, because I was promiscuous and even though now I know it wasn't my fault there is still a part of me that thinks it is. When it was happening he said some really horrible things to me, things that sometimes in my dark moments I had thought about myself and it literally paralyzed my mind (I just kept kept repeating the entire time "please stop". I was abused as a child and I guess as a coping mechanism or something like that I am able to block out everything around me and just go into my head whether I want to or not. For months I would cry for hours in the bathroom at work or would literally throw up when I had to work with him. I started wearing combat boots and mace on a necklace on the walks home at night. Most days I didn't leave my studio apt. and I would spend most of my time sleeping in between studying for the LSAT. I honestly just wanted to die. I really thought it was my fault and months later when I told the police what happened I was surprised that they told me it wasn't my fault and that what happened to me was wrong. I had a pretty traumatic childhood and the police told me that people like that often can sense people who have been victims of abuse in the past and prey on them. That made me feel helpless, and again it made me feel that I had brought it upon myself. Most of the time I don't really deal with the things that have happened in the past or I use humor to avoid any real emotions about it. I never utilized RAINN but I really respect what they do. There are so many guys out there that don't respect women. I work as a waitress right now, and late at night guys will grope you or say really gross things to you and even when my managers do see it happen they don't do anything about it. For someone like myself I get really aggravated about that. It's just very sad that society thinks its okay for men to treat women like that.

1 comment:

  1. He's probably lucky you weren't friends with me back then, because I'm pretty sure I'd fucking kill someone if they did that to someone I knew.